The Waiting Walk
The Waiting Walk — This podcast is about opening the pages of real fertility journeys — raw, honest, and hopeful. Each episode feels like a diary read out loud, where we walk gently together through the waiting season.
Plus, you’ll hear the voices of other women, opening up about their own waiting walks.
Until next time-breathe, walk gently, and hold onto hope. 💛
The Waiting Walk
Diary Entry Five: When Slowing Down Feels Like Losing Myself
In this episode, I open up about what it's like to pause the workouts, the routines, and the movement I've always used to feel like me. Sometimes, it feels like losing a part of my identity. But maybe.... slowing down is helping me come back to myself in a whole new way.
You don’t have to walk this alone. Until next time-breathe, walk gently, and hold onto hope!
Hey, it's Jocelyn and welcome back to the waiting walk. During the two-week wait, I'm sitting with tension between what I want to do and what my body needs. And honestly, I've been feeling bored. Having to slow down is hard for me. But during the two-week wait, I'm also learning that boredom is not bad. Sometimes it's the beginning of something softer. I used to fill quiet space with whiskey, intense workouts, and my best friend Mary Jane. And I'll be honest, I love my little windows with Mary Jane. But for this part of the journey, I had to press pause on all of that. Movement, whiskey, Mary Jane has been how I cope, how I release stress, and how I thought made me feel like myself. So being told to slow down, to pause the intense workouts, to stop having whiskey at happy hour with my husband, to stop Mary Jane, and to move gently, sometimes it felt like I was being told to be someone else. But I'm learning, slowing down is not a punishment. So what am I doing now? You're thinking? Well, I'm taking bubble baths, I'm walking a lot more, yoga, and also bothering my husband more. So let's get into this. Let's go back to annoying and bothering my husband more. Lately, I've just been singing to my husband like I'm headlining a one-woman RB concert. My nickname around our home is Juke Bach Jocelyn. Also, I'm talking his ear off about everything. And anywhere. He's trying to watch baseball. I'm chatting or singing. He's working on his PD assignments. I'm in his face like, hello. And I'm even literally still talking in the kitchen, in the living room, and I'll be honest, I'll follow him to the bathroom and continue talking. He turned to me and said, Babe, I love you, but is there a turn-off button? And honestly, fair. Because without all my old ways to stay busy, I've become extra. But also, something kind of beautiful is happening. I saw a quote that said, feeling bored is a sign your nervous system is finally getting regulated. And that's what this feels like. Not like failure, but like recovery. So I try to have more lazy days, like full on, no guilt, no pressure, lazy days. And within all of these lazy days, I'm starting to feel a lot clearer. Please remember, during the two-week wait, it's hard. But slowing down is something our body needs. We have to let ourselves. Stillness, it's not about doing less, it's about giving more to what actually matters. And in the end, that's better than anything. Allowing yourself to be still does feel strange, but also you start to feel closer within yourself. If you're in the waiting walk, I see you. Until next time, breathe, walk gently, and hold on to hope. This is the waiting walk.